Oh the beloved Grammys. Where did it all go wrong? For a start, you have a “Best Alternative Music Album”, which, although it actually has some great and well-deserved nominees in there this year, the title alone makes it sound like it’s something that only sells 200 copies for EMO kids to listen to in their basement. Next… Lady Gaga. Have you actually listened to any of her music? Distictly average, and I’m being kind there. “Ooh, but it’s her style and character too” I hear her fans pout. Well, Roisin Murphy has been doing that for the last decade (including a great performance at Sonar 2008). “Best Electronic / Dance Album”? Let’s not even go there!

Lastly…

(more…)

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The weekly newsletter from the UK’s favourite entertainment gossip site Popbitch threw up an interesting snippet about the current state of the UK music industry.  Valid points all round highlighting that some of the blame for the ‘hear now, gone tomorrow’ shelf life of artists can be attributed to the those influential media folk who insist on hyping up acts before they’ve actually achieved anything.

While those in the know can big up acts in print & online and insist we pay attention its obvious that without (a) the goods & (b) support of major radio stations the likelihood of real success is minimal.  The UK music consumer is a fickle soul and while many like to keep up with trends others are not so easily manipulated by being told what they should like.  Music is too subjective for any one person or even small group to determine what will make someone go download or buy a track.  Its all a gamble and some get it right but more often they don’t and the artist is the one that suffers.  The industry needs to back off and let the music speak for itself.

”Stop the hype! Save our future pop stars….”

It’s time to put a stop to the Critics Choice “these are the bands you WILL like next year” lists. Not only does it narrowcast music taste to a sheep-like following of what music bullies say you “should” like but it’s counter-productive, placing an unfair burden on the shoulders of artists who haven’t yet had time to develop a fan base or nurture their talent.

Everyone who writes about music falls over themselves to praise the newly-annointed, in a Emperor’s New Clothes desperation not to look uncool. And music fans who might have enjoyed discovering a new artist see the acres of hyperbolic newsprint, and then when they eventually hear the albums inevitably think “Is THAT it?”

Let’s look at this year’s annointed few:

Little Boots’ album entered the chart at five, but then dropped to 40 and right out of the charts. Florence and The Machine – no album yet, and not even a top 10 single. White Lies – two weeks in the top 10 before dropping straight out of top 40. Empire of the Sun peaked at 19; Frankmusik can’t get arrested. VV Brown is written about like she’s Beyonce but hasn’t yet had a hit.

Little Boots

So three cheers for La Roux. We don’t have to love it to be pleased that the UK music industry has one artist that’s actually selling. We only wish it sounded more creative than a copy of early 1980 synth pop. As a fanfirst time round of 80s synth pop, popbitch now knows how original 60s rockers felt when Shakin’ Stevens started topping the charts in the 80s with his erzatz “Green Door” charm.

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Music Festival Madness

So as we gear up to start enjoying the plethora of music festivals this summer a new survey commissioned by the Lovebox Weekender reveals how much one weekend shebang is likely to set you back.  According to the report, answered by 3,000 music festival fans, your average festival goer will spend a whopping £600 on a festival weekend.

The average cost of festivals revealed:

Travel: £100

Food: £60

Drink: £130

Clothes and camping gear: £170

Tickets: £140

The findings reveal that young female festival goers are being heavily influenced by the “Agyness Deyn/ Alexa Chung effect” and are spending a fortune on new wardrobes and designer camping gear. Considering the facilities at campsites wearing anything that costs more than £10 is madness but if you don’t mind having your D&G top sprayed with beer (and god knows what else) then obviously the recession isn’t hitting your neck of the woods. The average pre-festival spend came in at £170 boosted by a third of the female respondents (33%) who admitted spending an average of  £220 before they had even left the house, the money going on new clothes, designer wellies, waterproofs and tents to take with them for their festival weekend.

The survey suggests that festival goers are responding to the rise in costs and are now looking at events closer to home. With value for money at the forefront of their minds, 54% of regular festival goers admitted that they would be turning their backs on camping and traffic jams this year and looking for festivals within easy reach of their home whilst 70% agreed that local festivals were much better value for money.

As Tom Findlay from Groove Armada and one of the founders of Lovebox in Victoria Park comments;

“In these credit crunch times, festival goers are keen to get more bang for their buck and local festivals are a great way for them to watch live music without incurring the expense of camping and travel costs. As festival goers get older, they want to share the experience with their children and they are looking for festivals that not only showcase great bands but also provide great amusement, atmosphere and food options for the whole family. We’ve certainly addressed this at Lovebox Weekender by providing great food, fun family activities and variety of fantastic performers to cater to music lovers of all ages.”

Despite a hardcore 8% of those who answered the survey claiming to spend up to 20 hours watching bands in reality a third (32%) of festival goers have admitted that they will struggle to actually remember which bands they see due to excess alcohol. A fifth (21%) admitted they will take in less than 6 hours of music preferring instead to socialise with friends, wander around the site, and take in the atmosphere.  Over half (57%) were looking forward to having plenty to eat and drink while a vain 29% confessed that their top concern was looking good.

The Lovebox Weekender takes place in London’s Victoria Park from the 18^th-19^th July and includes performances from the legendary Duran Duran, N.E.R.D, Groove Armarda, Florence and the Machine, Doves, Ladyhawke and many many more. In addition to the stellar music line-up Lovebox has expanded for 2009 and will be bursting at the seams with the best new acts, performers, stage sets and special effects. Not to be missed will be the Heavenly Healing area offering festival goers some much needed relaxation, The Gaymers Tree House with its incredible view of the Gaymers Stage, The Fringe Field offering an eclectic mix of sideshows and freak shows and thelondonpaper Sourced Market ensuring hungry festival fans have an array of delicious treats to keep them going.

Matt Williams

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By James Long

I’m putting my head above the parapet this year and publishing who I think will win each coveted Brit award before they are handed out by the rent-a-celebs. This is in stark contrast to previous years, when I would silently predict the winner, get proven wrong, then pretend I guessed correctly all along. 

As I retain the right to be characteristically self-righteous and superior about my own musical tastes, I’ll also note who I think ’should’ win each award. For no other reason than my own, smug, self-satisfaction.

As you’ll see below 2008/9 was the year of ‘the ladies’. All of the female categories are almost too close to call so I’m expecting to suffer most embarrasment here. This leaves the male categories as relatively level playing fields. I’ll stick my neck out a bit also and remind you that The Brits have always been about quantity (of records sold) rather than (artistic) quality. It’s lovely when the two coincide and it has occurred many times in the past. I’ll assume that the men in suits will have the deciding vote this year and will be happy to be proven wrong.

Anyway, award shows don’t matter because Music is the real winner, Man! Unless (good grief!) Scouting for Girls wins anything. Not only then is music not the real winner, but it’s been kicked in the knackers and had it’s dinner money stolen.

For your consideration:

Best British Male

In this category, all the nominees this year are previous winners, which shows how quiet the industry is around solo male artists at the moment following the push from the bigwigs to replicate the success of Amy, Lily, Corinne et al. Ian Brown and The Streets hardly set the world alight last year. Will Young could be a dark horse as he released ‘Let Go’, another set of earnest easy-listening pop to keep the housewives happy. Paul Weller scored a UK number one album and received his best reviews for over a decade with ‘22 Dreams’. However, I think this one belongs to James Morrison. The recipient of the same award in 2007, ‘Songs For You, Truths For Me’, his follow up to 2006’s ‘Undiscovered’, has been selling steadily since it’s release last year, helped along by the hit duet with Nelly Furtado, ‘Broken Strings’.

Ian Brown
James Morrison Will Win! Should Win! 
The Streets
Paul Weller Did Win!
Will Young

Best British Female

As much as the Brits are all about rewarding record sales, they also know how to throw in the odd wild card. This year Beth Rowley would have been the one that had most people asking ‘Who?’ when the nominations were announced. However, she went top ten last summer with her debut album ‘Little Dreamer’ and the Brits have sometimes awarded lesser known nominees in the big categories. Sadly, 2009 is unlikely to be her year awards-wise, although the extra interest generated in the album will more than compensate. M.I.A. & Estelle both had huge worldwide hits last year. M.I.A. sold over 2 million downloads of Paper Planes in the US alone. Taken from 2007’s ‘Kala’ LP, The ubiquitous track was used on the soundtrack for both Pineapple Express & Slumdog Millionaire during 2008, catapulting it back onto the airwaves. However, without anything like the same amount of interest in any of her other material, I can’t see her winning this. The same problem could befall Estelle, unquestionably one of THE tracks of 2008, American Boy (with Kanye West) deservedly re-introduced Estelle following the disappointing sales of 2004’s debut ‘The 18th Day’. Decamping to New York in the interim to sign to John Legends ‘Homeschool’ label, Estelle came back in 2008 with ‘Shine’. A record which boasted Will.I.Am and Mark Ronson among it’s other high profile collaborators. Although the record was a hit both sides of the Atlantic, the success of American Boy overshadowed subsequent singles and it’s doubtful we’ll see her walk away with a statuette tonight. Which leaves Adele & Duffy in the running. Although Adele won the ‘Critics Choice’ award last year, it was Duffy who saw the biggest year in terms of record sales. Duffy’s debut ‘Rockferry’ was the biggest seller of 2008 in the U.K. and even went top 5 in the US. Adele’s debut ‘19′ also sold strongly in both territories. A chart-topper in the UK, and just falling short of the top 10 in the US, the Soul and Jazz-inflected record set out to showcase Adele’s astounding vocals, whereas Duffy’s no less impressive take on Soul was clearly more influenced by Dusty Springfiled circa 1960’s. Although I prefer Adele personally, I think this will be decided upon by sales: Duffy.

Adele Should Win!
Beth Rowley
Duffy Will Win! Did Win!
Estelle
MIA

Best Breakthrough

I won’t even contemplate Scouting For Girls taking this home. I’m not too sure what they could have been considered to breakthrough. Boundaries of good taste, perhaps? Let’s just see this nomination as a concession to the fact that they did actually sell quite a lot of records last year. There. I said it. Far more palatable are the Last Shadow Puppets, the side-project of head-Arctic Monkey Alex Turner and Miles Kane of The Rascals. Very good in a ‘Look Pa! I’ve listened to your Scott Walker albums’ kind of way, I’m not sure theirs can be seen as a breakthrough as such, given that one of them already has 4 Brit Awards for the day job. Cheat. Moving on to the likely contenders, the Ting Tings must’ve been gawping at each other in amazement when both ‘That’s Not My Name’ and debut album ‘We Started Nothing’ shot to number one. 2008 also saw another of their tracks ‘Shut Up & Let Me Go’ soundtrack an Apple commercial in the US securing mass exposure and resulting in further success ‘across the pond’ for both song and album. They get my vote as I think of all those nominated, The Ting Tings truly illustrate a ‘breakthrough’. However, I think this one could end up a two-way battle between Duffy & Adele. For reasons already explained, I think this one could go to the Welsh bird.

Adele
Duffy Will Win! Did Win!
Last Shadow Puppets
Scouting For Girls
The Ting Tings Should Win!

Best British Group

Probably the toughest category of all to predict, I’ll probably balls this one up royally. Here goes. Well let’s get rid of Radiohead for start. As absolutely astonishing as 2007’s ‘In Rainbows’ was (and, make no mistake, ’tis perfect), the UK record industry will not reward a band who clearly flouted ‘the rules’ and allowed the record buying public to pay what they wanted for a record that would otherwise have made a considerable amount for those poor investment fund managers. Or whoever it is that actually owns the record companies today. Bye bye Radiohead. Then we have Take That & Girls Aloud flying the flag for ‘Pop’. Girls Aloud, as fabulous as they are, are unlikely to win this. Take That, however, have sold a huge amount of records (and concert tickets) since they reformed. A possibility. I love Elbow. I loved them when they were dropped by V2 in 2005 even though they had just released their best album, ‘Leaders of the Free World’. But I love them even more now everybody else does too. No other band more deserves the praise that has been heaped upon them. Majestic, passionate, and poetic, the emotional punch delivered by 2008’s ‘The Seldom Seen Kid’ has been made even more emphatic by it’s triumph at the Mercury awards last September and it’s residency in most end-of-2008 best of lists. In a just world, they would sweep the board. However, it’s Coldplay that sell the records They went home with this award on all 3 previous occasions when they were nominated. I can only really see Take That giving them a serious run for their money. And as Coldplay sell, like, loads of records, like, everywhere. I think this could be their fourth. One for each member no less.

Coldplay Will Win! 
Elbow Should Win! Did Win! 
Girls Aloud
Radiohead
Take That

Best British Live Act

Do I need to say anything more about Scouting For Girls? I’m sure Iron Maiden are a good live act. It’s just the chances of getting out of one of their ‘gigs’ alive is quite minimal so i’m not sure how anyone knows. I don’t think so, Bruce. The Verve. Not a bad proposition live I guess. As long as they just play the old stuff. Did you listen to the ‘new’ album (2008’s ‘Forth’)? I did. It should not be encouraged. Nor rewarded. Now, this is where it get’s interesting as I think Elbow will triumph over Coldplay due to them, you know, actually being better live. I saw Elbow at Latitude last July and grown men wept openly the moment the clouds parted during ‘One Day Like This’ and let the glorious sun through. I bet that never happens at an Iron Maiden ’show’.

Coldplay
Elbow Will Win! Should Win 
Iron Maiden Did Win 
Scouting for Girls
The Verve

Best British Single

Oh look, Scouting For Girls! Again. This one was actually voted for by the public. Records as astoundingly good as ‘That’s Not My Name’ & ‘American Boy’ are not as good as this Scouting for Girls record apparently. Some of these people are actually allowed to vote for our government too. Well, that’s one in the eye for democracy. If ‘Heartbeat’ actually wins, consider it the first sign of Armageddon and start praying. On the plus side, we’ve got Leona Lewis who has had a few rather lovely hit singles since she won X-Factor. Sadly, neither of those is nominated in this category. Whoops. Duffy & Coldplay are likely to scoop the big awards and, even though that doesn’t preclude them from winning the public vote, I think this one is destined for Girls Aloud. ‘Mercy’ & ‘Viva La Vida’ would both be worthy winners, but ‘The Promise’ scored one of the biggest first sales weeks last year to secure Girls Aloud another number 1 single. Deservedly, they seem to have built a considerable amount of goodwill resulting in 2008’s ‘Out of Control’ becoming their biggest-selling album (Best Of.. aside). So it’s your choice. Girls Aloud or Armageddon?

Coldplay – Viva la Vida
Duffy – Mercy
Girls Aloud – The Promise Will Win! Should Win! Did Win! 
Leona Lewis – Better In Time
Scouting For Girls – Heartbeat

Mastercard Best British Album

The Ting Tings’ ‘We Started Nothing’ is very good. However it is not the best British album of 2008. Nor did it sell in sufficient quantities to overlook this. ‘In Dreams’ is unlikley to win due to previously mentioned ’selling initiative’. Elbow’s ‘The Seldom Seen Kid’ is an amazing album, but is it amazing enough to give the Brits organisers cause to overlook the millions of sales racked up by Duffy and Coldplay? Talking of which, who is likely to triumph in the battle of the big sellers? Well, from a purely objective point of view, Bernard Butler picked up the Brit for Producer of the year when it was announced on 12th February. Even though he produced other records last year, this can be seen as a direct result of his work on ‘Rockferry’. Therefore, my heart says Elbow, but my head says Duffy.

Coldplay – Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends
Duffy – Rockferry Will Win! Did Win! 
Elbow – The Seldom Seen Kid Should Win! 
Radiohead – In Rainbows
The Ting Tings – We Started Nothing

Best International Group & Album 

Frankly, I can’t see any other band getting these 2 awards than Kings Of Leon. AC/DC sold loads of records internationally, Fleet Foxes delighted with their self-titled debut, Killers continued with their habit of making half a great album and half a dud one, and MGMT arrived with primary colours and psychedelic tunes that won hearts but not record sales. However, it’s Kings of Leon who really triumphed. Largely ignored in the US since they released 2003 debut ‘Youth & Young Manhood’, they focused their efforts on consolidating their fanbase in Europe, not least the UK. This seems to have paid off dividends as, not only did they score one of only 4 albums to top the 1 million mark in the UK last year with ‘Only By the Night’, but they have started to get noticed at home, including 3 nominations in this years Grammys.

AC/DC – Black Ice
Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
Killers – Day & Age
Kings Of Leon – Only By the Night Will Win! Did Win! 
MGMT – Oracular Spectacular Should Win! 

International Male Solo Artist

Similarly to the British Male category, anyone of these could go home with the trophy. Beck has form in this category as he is a ‘BIG DEAL’. I would give it to Seasick Steve as i saw him live and thought he was a charming old boy who had the whole crowd eating from his palm. However, I think Kanye West or Jay-Z are more than likely to come out on top to show that, y’know, us Brits are down. And shit. I’ll predict Kanye will take it as he tends to invade the stage if he doesn’t win stuff. There, there, Kanye. there, there.

Beck
Neil Diamond
Jay-Z
Kanye West Will Win! Did Win! 
Seastick Steve Should Win! 

International Female Solo Artist

Another strong female category. The boys are really getting an arse whooping this year. Sadly for the girls, anyone of these could have won in previous years but that’s the way it goes. The field is just too strong for Gabriella Cilmi to win. At least she doesn’t have to suffer the embarrasment of seeing Vic Reeves tryng to pronounce her name. Memories from 1996 of Neil Morrissey trying to pronounce Alanis Morrisette, and ending up sounding like an Italian car maker had just one Best International Newcomer, are still quite fresh. Santogold’s self titled debut was one of the best albums released last year. A bold and diverse record that was influenced by New Wave and Post-Punk, it stands head & shoulders above the releases by the other nominees. However, much like Beth Rowley, Santogold should be grateful of the extra attention and not expect to take home the little gold man. This leaves the big sellers, Beyonce seems to have no problem scoring a big single but 2005’s ‘B’day’ and last year’s ‘I Am..’ have not emulated the success of her 2002 debut ‘Dangerously In Love’ in the UK. Katy Perry has also notched up 2 very big hit singles from her debut ‘One Of the Boys’. However, sales of the album have not been as strong. Which leaves the most likely winner of this award, Pink. Consistently outselling both Britney & Christina on these shores, Pink is that rare breed: A pop star who hasn’t been media-trained to within an inch of her life and actually pours herself into each record ending up with something that no one else could produce. I may not love her records but I do love Pink.

Beyonce
Gabriella Cilmi
Katy Perry Did Win! 
Pink Will Win! 
Santogold Should Win!

Right, that’s it. Now, what do I win?

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Girls Aloud No 1 with 'The Promise'

Girls Aloud are all set to score their 4th UK number 1 on Sunday with ‘The Promise’.  Cheryl Cole’s wildly popular role as the new judge on The X-Factor and her band’s live performance on last week’s show has paid off in droves. ‘The Promise’ also marks the girls 19th consecutive top ten hit record.

Also sure to make the top ten are Razorlight with their excellent new track ‘Wire To Wire’, while Alicia Keys & Jack White’s collaboration  ‘Another Way To Die’, the theme for the new Bond movie ‘Quantam of Solace’, will hit the top 20.

Chart Predictions: New entries/High climbers Sun 26th October

Number One

GIRLS ALOUD – The Promise

Top Ten

RAZORLIGHT – Wire To Wire
GURU JOSH PROJECT – Infinity 2008
KATY PERRY – Hot N Cold

Top Twenty

ALICIA KEYS & JACK WHITE – Another Way To Die

Top Forty

JOHN LEGEND FT ANDRE 3000 – Green Light
FALL OUT BOY – I Don’t Care
KARDINALL OFFISHALL – Dangerous
BLOC PARTY – Talons

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So the rumour mill is in full force that Simon Cowell is a front runner to receive a Lifetime Contribution to the Music Industry at next year’s Brit Awards.  This little nugget of information has caused quite a stir amongst industry players including The Who front man Roger Daltrey, who claims ‘Cowell has done for music what Gordon Brown has done for the economy — nothing,’.  A statement that many serious musicians, artists and industry stalwarts will undoubtedly share but there’s no denying that Cowell is a shrewd marketeer who has made millions for the British music industry.

Problem is, could the man responsible for signing Sinitta & Zig & Zag really step up on that stage and accept an award for contribution to music with a straight face?  Well The Spice Girls did it so why not!

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The LA Times has reported that an arrest was made by the FBI following a leak of unreleased material from old school rockers Guns n Roses. Kevin Cogill, a Culver City resident known as Skewl online, was arrested on suspicion of violating federal copyright law by posting the nine songs on his blog Antiquiet.

I’m not sure what possesses these people to do it, whether they think they are offering a service to the underground internet-savvy youth who torrent millions of songs every year. Well, unfortunately for them, there’s an internet-savvy federal department after them, and rightly so I say – what the culprits are doing is morally wrong.

With all the new laws coming into effect to give the FBI extra clout, I expect a few more of these stories. Although, I think they were devised with the big-wigs running huge file-sharing sites in mind, as opposed to some dude in suburbia blogging in his basement.

Now, 24 hours and many blog comments later, some people are saying how this smells kinda like a publicity stunt, some say the whole thing was set up to warn people off sharing / downloading illegally hosted music (My GNR forum has plenty of controversial comments to wade through). The fact that Cogill and friends were back on the blog talking about the case the day after the FBI took them in for questioning seems suspect.

I’m sure there’s a whole heap of rights and wrongs and in betweens, so feel free to pick a side and let the slanging begin in the comment section here…(!)

Lee.

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All this new music at our fingertips and all these new ways of buying and selling it. Aren’t we all so lucky. I recently reported how Madonna’s album was available for mobile phone downloads prior to the physical CD release (We’ve also had Bryan Adams selling his album exclusively through Walmart and Sam’s Club stores in the US (not quite as Rock n Roll, but you gotta take what you’re offered, right Bry?)).

Yet, amongst the digital revolution and traditional record shop mass-exodus, us dance music fans still like to buy physical products. It sure is hard for the retailers to keep on making money, times have changed, and a few vinyl junkies aren’t enough to keep a business afloat, but it was a very pleasant surprise to read about the recent RISE in sales of vinyl (RIAA 2007 Year-End Shipment Statistics – PDF). I’m not saying it’s saved, or making a comeback (especially after one year’s rise compared to nine years decline), but i realised that my own buying habits have changed over the years. I still go hunting for the odd 2nd hand bargain, or an old release with a killer B-side that everyone looked over at the time. But, i’m afraid i feel it hard to pay more than 8 quid for a piece of wax. Unless…. it’s an LP.

After a saturation of big brand mixed compitlations and a handful of rather weak superstar DJ full-length ego-massaging CDs, exciting dance music producers are making a bit of a comeback with artist albums. Canada’s Deadmau5 is planning an album release around Halloween, supported with a Puma/Beatport sponsored 50-date tour. The UK’s Mike Monday has his ready to go with US dance giant OM Records, complete with music videos!

There’s something about albums that give you a warm fuzzy feeling (not just the value for money). Maybe the artwork, or the expectation of the full spectrum of music that will (hopefully) be on there, with all the thank you’s and shout outs written inside the cover. Maybe there’s free stickers! Everybody loves free stickers!

If either of the above mentioned will be made available on vinyl, i think they will be sure purchases for myself, and even if not, I hope i’ll be able to continue hunting out some great vinyl LPs for years to come… whilst downloading the odd promo single

Lee.

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Ibiza 2008 – Hard to believe that we’re over two months in already!
It’s been a crazy start to the season even though everyone seems to think that Ibiza is dying again. I’ve been very busy since the start of the year so my spacial awareness hasn’t been great but the start of August was the first time when I looked around and said to myself “feck, it’s busy”.

My personal & work life has been a bit of a mess recently so the old blog has suffered somewhat. It’s time to pull my finger out now though and I reckon that speed is of the essence so I’m just going to ramble my way through my year in Ibiza – please feel free to criticise it if it’s too boring or too stuck in my own little bubble and I’ll try and make the effort to take a step back and start writing properly…

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A few months ago when Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis announced that American rap god and urban clothing guru Jay-Z would be headlining the UK’s biggest and most beloved music festival there was a certain amount of indignation.  Stepping forward as the voice of guitar based rock bands everywhere was that shy,  retiring wallflower Noel Gallagher telling BBC news that deviating from the festival’s tradition of booking guitar-based headliners was “wrong”.  ”If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” he said. “If you start to break it then people aren’t going to go. I’m sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance.

A few months ago when Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis announced that American rap god and urban clothing guru Jay-Z would be headlining the UK’s biggest and most beloved music festival there was a certain amount of indignation.  Stepping forward as the voice of guitar based rock bands everywhere was that shy,  retiring wallflower Noel Gallagher telling BBC news that deviating from the festival’s tradition of booking guitar-based headliners was “wrong”.  ”If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” he said. “If you start to break it then people aren’t going to go. I’m sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance.

Of course this was just Mr Gallagher’s opinion and didn’t really seem to affect ticket sales for the festival (although tickets definitely didn’t sell as quickly as previous years).  Eavis cleverly positioned Jay-Z after Amy Winehouse knowing full well the crowd would turn out to see what kind of shambolic state she would turn up in.  Thankfully Amy didn’t disappoint rambling on about Blake, tugging at her dress and then twatting an overzealous fan for allegedly grabbing her boob!  What boob? Its just tired old skin hanging on to bone from where I’m stood!  Having said that Amy is great value and undeniably entertaining actually remembering at least two verses and half a chorus throughout her entire set which if previous live performances are anything to go by was a right result.  Thankfully so barking mad was Amy that the crowd seemed revved up for the arrival of Jay-Z who’s appearance was also bolstered by the rumour mill preceding days before the festival.  At one point reports suggested Chris Martin, Keith Richards, Amy Winehouse and Z’s other half Beyonce would all take to the stage for one big, musical collaboration!  Clearly a load of old tosh – lets be honest getting Amy and Keith out of the cubicle and onto to the stage would have been a job enough but what kind of sound these five would have made is anyone’s guess.

Anyway Jay-Z appeared with the same bravado and panache that seems to be genetically bestowed on all artists of this genre (yes Kayne West you arrogant tit I am talking about you) and went straight on in to perform a cover of Wonderwall.  The crowd went crazy but is that because they believed they were witnessing an affectionate homage or because they got the joke instantly?  I’m not sure but I for one think it was a big mistake.  If your going to get back at another artist for questioning your credentials by covering one of their songs then you need to make it either a bloody great version therefore rising above the insult or absolutely take the piss.  He did neither instead choosing to half sing (out of tune) while the backing track played over him which diluted the effect entirely and made me scratch my head in bemusement.

If he had held out and chucked it in later on in the set than it would have worked marginally better however the best idea would have been to get Amy out to cover it.  ’I'm…your…fuck…wha? blake….2 weeks…..oh yeh….wwoonndderwalll’ now that would have been something.

Besides the slight miscalculation at the beginning Jay-Z did go on to perform a fantastic set proving that it may have been a somewhat unorthodox decision to have him headline but it added variety and originality to festival proceedings and thats no bad thing.

Check out Jay-Z covering Oasis’s Wonderwall and performing 99 Problems at Glastonbury 2008

JAY-Z – Glastonbury 2008

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